Job Interview
So there’s this big building called “Michigan,” and I’m a part owner. The old manager’s contract has run out and I’m hiring a new one. Two guys are interviewing for the job: a little guy with dark hair and a taller guy with grey hair and no tie. Meantime, the old manager hovers around.
“We’re doing a great job!” she said. “And it’s not my fault!”
“Uh huh,” I said. “Yup. Right. Thanks. Now, you two: here’s the deal. Our income line’s been diving for years, our expenses keep going up, and our customer base has withered. We’ve only kept the doors open by gimmicks and borrowing from future income streams. So what do we do?’
So What DO We Do?
The grey haired, no-tie guy said “what’s our product?”
"Michigan," said the the little guy. "Built by the little guys, for the little guys!”
The Soon-To-Be-Former Manager said “Michigan is in transition, and has been for…oh, eight years. We’re doing great and it’s not my fault. My strategy is to pay people to take our products.” She put her arm around the little guy, who shuddered, shrugged it off, and stepped ten feet away.
First Things First??
“So what should we do, first thing?” I asked.
The no-tie guy said “figure out what we want to concentrate on. Figure out how to do it better, and bring down the cost.”
“How long will that take?” I asked.
“As much time as it takes to get it right,” he said.
“We have about twenty minutes.” I turned to the little guy. “How about you?”
"Get Those Big Guys..."
The little guy said”big guys stole all the money away from the little guys. We need to go get those big guys, beat ‘em up, and take that wealth back and give it to the little guys. Then the little guys can afford to buy our stuff when we raise our prices so we can afford to spiff the place up.”
“What qualifies as a ‘big guy?’” I asked.
“Anyone taller than you,” he said. I nodded. That made sense.
“Also, it depends on how much money we need to spiff the place up. And pay the employees.”
"And Here's the Workforce!"
I snapped my fingers. “Right! The employees.”
“Green energy products!” said the Soon-To-be-Former Manager. “And movies! We paid people to make windmills, and then to make movies of windmills, then we paid folks to take the movies, and the demand just blew us away!” We turned out back on her and kept talking.
“Employees! Yes! Our esteemed workforce! The little guys upon which everything depends,” said the little guy. “Hey folks, don’t be shy!” Five guys came out, all wearing the Little Guy’s T shirts.
Five Guys Making More Than Ten Used to Make.
The shortest employee said, “we need a raise. And benefits.”
The grey haired, no-tie guy said, “we‘re out of money. We all gotta work together to make your pay competitive with everybody else, including our customers.”
“We know,” said the employees. “That’s why we’re supporting the other fellah.”
“We don’t cost that much,” said the employees. “We work hard. We’ve made sacrifices. There used to be ten guys here doing the work.”
“But you five get paid more in total than the ten guys did!”
Time to Choose...
“Okay,” I said. “So I got to choose which one of you two to hire as Manager. Any final words?”
The grey haired, no-tie guy said “we have to make this place run cheaper, leaner and more efficiently, and can’t be all things to all people. We got to look at everything top to bottom. Choose me and I’ll make that happen, hopefully in 20 minutes but probably longer.”
“Little guys!” said the little guy. “This state was made by little guys and we need to run this place by, for and of the little guys. Little guys being defined as…” he glanced at me, “you and anyone else shorter than you, unless we need more money.”
So I get to choose, and so do all of you.
Vote November 2nd, and…
“Green windmill movies!” yelled Soon-To-Be-Former. “Not my fault!! Blown away!”
Both manager candidates and I looked at each other in total agreement.
“Whatever happens, at least we won’t have to listen to her anymore.”
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