YO-YO MONOPOLY

                        Say I have a Yo-Yo business. Moss Yo-Yos, best in the world, and proudly Made In Michigan. I employ three guys: Tom, Dick, and Harry. I use three inputs:  wood, string, and glue, and my three guys shape the wood, assemble the Yo-Yos, and pack & ship. The Yo-Yo business is hanging in there.

                So up comes my wood supplier, who smiles at me and says “hi! I represent the Wood Monopoly. We have a total lock on your wood supply, no competition allowed. We decide what wood you use, how much, what quality. We can talk about price, but we reserve the right to cut off your wood and shut you down if we don’t like your offer. Sign the contract?”

 

That's Illegal!

 

                I looked at the guy and counted to ten. “That’s illegal,” I said. “Forming and operating a monopoly is against the law here in America!” So I took my cellphone, dialed M-911 for the Monopoly Police. The guys were there in a jiffy and that was the end of the Wood Monopoly.

                Before I could go back to making Yo-Yos, up came the string supplier.  “Hi!” he said, I represent the String Monopoly. We have a total lock on your string supply, no competition allowed. We decide what string you use, how much, what quality. We can talk about price, but we reserve the right to cut off your string and shut you down if we don’t like your offer. Sign the contract?”

 

And THAT'S Illegal!

 

                I looked at the guy and counted to ten. “That’s illegal,” I said. “Forming and operating a monopoly is against the law here in America!” So I took my cellphone, dialed M-911 for the Monopoly Police. The guys were there in a jiffy and that was the end of the String Monopoly.

 

                So I turn to go make some Yo-Yos, but who shows up but the guy from ACME Glue.  “Howdy,” he says, “I represent the Glue Monopoly. We have a total lock on your glue supply, no competition allowed. We decide what glue you use, how much, what quality. We can talk about price, but we reserve the right to cut off your glue and shut you down if we don’t like your offer. Sign the contract?”

 

And THAT'S ILLEGAL TOO!!!

 

                This time I didn’t even count to ten. “That’s illegal,” I growled. “Forming and operating a monopoly is against the law here in America!” So I took my cellphone, dialed M-911 for the Monopoly Police. The guys were there in a jiffy and that was the end of the Glue Monopoly.

                Whew! Finally time to go make some Yo-Yos. I walked back to the plant, but Tom, Dick and Harry were all sitting around. “What’s going on here?” I growled. “Get back to work!”

 

We're the LABOR MONOPOLY!

 

                “No dice, boss,” said Harry. “We’re the Labor Monopoly, Local 112. We have a total lock on your labor supply, no competition allowed. We decide what labor you use, how much, what quality. We can talk about price, but we reserve the right to cut off your labor and shut you down if we don’t like your offer. Sign the contract?”

                 “That’s illegal,” I growled. “Forming and operating a monopoly is against the law here in America!” So I took my cellphone, dialed M-911 for the Monopoly Police. The Operator just laughed.

And that's NOT Illegal!

 

                “That’s not a ‘monopoly,’” she said “That’s called a ‘union.’ It’s perfectly legal; in fact it’s honorable and admirable.”

                “But it has the same power over one of my inputs, and over my business! Why does labor get a legal monopoly when no one else does? What if I decide to make a Yo-Yo Monopoly?”

                “Then we’ll send the guys out in a jiffy! And that will be the end of the Yo-Yo Monopoly.”

 

Looks Like you Have Me Over A Barrel Until....

 

                I hung up. “Looks like you fellas have me over a barrel.”

 

                “Looks that way,” says Tom. “Sign the contract?”

 

                “I could do that, guys,” I said. “But then I won’t be able to afford you all. Looks like I’ll have to contract out the shipping to FedEx and lay one of you off.”

 

                “You do that, we’ll go on strike and shut you down,” said Dick.”We’re about saving jobs.”

 

                “Well, maybe I’ll move my business to someplace that doesn’t allow a Labor Monopoly. What’ll you all do then?”

 

                They looked at each other. Harry smiled. “We’ll go get jobs with a union that works for the government. Now there’s a Monopoly that beats ‘em all!”

 

                “Yeah,” I said. “Until all the Yo-Yos decide they’ve had enough.”

 

                

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