The Day We Ran Out of OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY!!!

               

“The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.”

M. Thatcher.

It was a day everyone had dreaded and prayed would never come. It was the day of doom.

                It was the day we ran out of other people’s money.

                The first hint of disaster came when Tom, who ran the Free Breakfast, ran over. “I have a crowd of people, and nothing to feed them! The farmers haven’t given me any eggs or bacon!”

                “Those dirty dogs!” I growled. “Why not?”

                “Because I haven’t paid them,” said Tom. “I’ve run out of other people’s money.”

 

I Done Run Out!

 

Suddenly Dick rushed in the back way, slammed the door, and locked it.  “That was close!” he said. “There I was, handing out other people’s money, when I didn’t have any more to give them, and they were getting mad.  That’s why I ran over here to the Free Money Bank.”

 

                “Sure,” I said. “That’s what we’re here for.” I walked over to the vault labeled OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY, spun the combo, and opened the big door. WHAT!!!! I looked in. It was empty! A mouse ran down the stairs with the last penny in his mouth. We had run clean out of other people’s money.

 

It's All Gone!

 

                “This can’t be!” I clapped my hand to my head. “All our other people’s money is gone!”

                Through the window climbed Harriet, from the Free Store. “There’s a whole lot of people on the front doorstep. I had to get in quick because we’ve run out of…”

                “Other people’s money,” we chimed in together. “We’re out, too.”

                “No way!” she said. “Get outta here! How could this happen?”

 

Maybe We Ran Out Of Other People?

 

                “Beats me,” I said. “Maybe we ran out of other people. Or the other people ran out of money.”

                “We used to have lots of other people,” said Tom. “And they had lots of money.”

                “Maybe we took it all,” said Dick.

                “Well, let’s go get some more.” We snuck out the back way, avoiding the crowd, and strolled around town looking for other people. It was tough, because other people were hard to find.

 

Where'd All The Other People Go?

 

                “Where’d all the other people go?” asked Harriet. I shrugged. “Look! There’s Generous Mother.”

                “Sorry, boys,” she said. “I’m Government Mother now. These days I’m people, and I take money from other people. You got any?”

                “Nope!” we said. “We’re people too, looking for other people ourselves.” We kept walking and saw Mr. Hollywood! He’s rich! But as we ran up to him, he backed off and held up his hands.

                “Whoaa, there, buckaroos. In Michigan, I’m people. Not other people.”

 

We've Run Out of Other People!

 

                “Darn!” said Dick. It looks like we’ve run out of other people.”

                “So how can we give away other people’s money if everybody becomes people?”

                “Maybe we need to find some other other people,” he said. “How do we do that?”

                “Let’s get some more other people to come move here.” We nodded. But how?

 

We Need Some Other Other People.

 

                “We used to get new other people to move here by giving them old other people’s money,” said Harriet. “But now we don’t have any more other people’s money to give the new other people.”

                “And new other people don’t want to become old other people and give us money.”

                “So where did all the other people go?” asked Tom.

                “Maybe they went to places where people don’t take other people’s money.”

                “Jeeze!” said Dick. “Where do they get free money to hand out without other people’s money?”

 

Maybe Let the Other Peoole Keep Their Money?

 

                “Maybe we could let the other people keep some of their money,” said Tom. “Then we’d have other people back and we could at least have some of the other people’s money to give away.”

                “But then we can’t give the people all the good stuff they deserve,” said Harriet.

                “Yeah,” said Tom. “But people will have to be satisfied just getting some of other people’s money, not all of it. And becoming other people themselves and paying some money. If we have lots of other people, they can all pay less money apiece.  That ought to work.”

“At least until we have more other people making more money.” I said. Dick nodded.

                “Or more other people than people.”

                “Or we could just hand out our own money, not other people’s…” said Tom. “Just kiddin!!”

 

 

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