RUFFLING FEATHERS
On Tuesday I went into downtown Birmingham and spent my Decision Generator on an extra 15 minutes at the Peabody Parking Structure. Without my lucky quarter, I knew I was lost, so I ducked into a store for change. CUSTOMERS ONLY said the sign. I shrugged. “Whatta ya got for 75 cents?” I asked.
“Nothing but this parrot,” said the clerk. So I took the parrot to the office.
So Do You Talk?
“So do you talk?” I asked. The parrot ruffled its feathers opened its beak and squawked.
“Awwk! Where does it come from? Where does
it come from?”
“Hmm,” I said. “You say anything else?”
“Everything comes from somewhere. Awwk!!
Everything comes from somewhere.”
A Talking Parrot!
“Great!” I said. “A talking parrot.” I looked at my calendar. A group of people had an appointment. They came in, and told me a very sad story about a government program they feared would be cut. All they needed was a little bit of money to keep it going.
“Awk!” said the parrot. “Where does it come from?”
“From the DHS budget,” they said.
“Where does it come from?” the parrot squawked.
“From the government,” they said.
“Where does it come from?”
“From revenue.” WHERE DOES IT COME FROM? “From taxes.” WHERE DOES IT COME FROM? “From people who pay taxes,” admitted the group. WHERE DOES IT COME FROM? “From the wages they earn.” WHERE… “From the work they do. At the jobs they have, from the businesses who can pay them, from the profit the businesses earn.” The parrot sat back, preened itself and spoke again.
“Everything comes from somewhere!”
Some new people came in. They wanted a tax credit that would lead to a New Renaissance in Michigan. Before I could answer, the parrot squawked.
“Everything comes from somewhere! Awwk!
Where does it come from?”
“From other people paying taxes,” I said. “Or from cutting other stuff that other people want.”
A Happy Story...But Where...?
Some different people came in. They told me a very happy story about how their program had saved millions of lives and trillions of dollars, and only needed a little bit of “full funding” to continue such exemplary work. They had a study, too! But the parrot piped up and said…you guessed it.
“Where does it come from?”
“It’s not much money compared to the savings,” said the people.
“Where does it come from?”
“We can’t afford NOT to do it!”
“Everything comes from somewhere! Everything comes from somewhere.”
What Kind of Bird is This?
“What kind of bird is this?” they asked indignantly.
I shrugged. “It’s a Principles Parrot.”
This was great! Every time we talked about budget, tax, or regulation issues, the parrot asked the questions. Now, instead of flipping my Decision Generator, I asked myself ‘where does it come from?’ and told myself ‘everything comes from somewhere.’” That night, as I left the office, the parrot said “where does it come from?” and I turned off the lights, because the electricity was paid by the people who pay the taxes from the wages they earn. Everything comes from somewhere.
But the Next Day...
The next day the parrot was gone! Who took him? We looked everywhere, but he’d disappeared. The window was open. All I could see were a couple of green feathers on my desk. So from now on, I have to make my own decisions without the parrot, and remember the two lines: 1) Where does it come from? 2) Everything comes from somewhere. Even a bird brain can understand it.
UPDATE: About the parrot. Yesterday I saw his picture on the cover of FORTUNE MAGAZINE! He’d been named CEO of a top tech company and a member of the Federal Reserve Board. They’re talking about running him for President. Wow! I don’t know if that’ll fly. Some folks may squawk, but he’ll sure ruffle a few feathers.
