Gentle Nudging

  

               

I was at an event when an earnest, well meaning doctor suggested we “gently nudge”people “into making better health choices. We’ve got lots of options with the tax code.”

                So next day, my friend Harvey stopped by. He’s got a new job: Chief Gentle Nudger.

                “My job is to gently nudge folks into making better choices,” he bragged. “Like celery. Eating celery is a better health choice, because celery is good for you,” he said. “It’s also green, which is good for the planet. Also it’s organic.”

                “So what if I don’t want to eat celery?” I asked. “How do you gently nudge me?”

                “First!”he said. “I send my Gentle Nudger Number One: my mom.”

                An older woman opened the door and walked in. “Look here, honey,” she said. “Did you remember to eat your celery? Here!” she reached in her handbag and pulled out a celery stick. “Eat! And chew fifty times for your digestion. Also, Aunt Lillian needs your thank you note from your Birthday.”

                “NO!”I said “I don’t want to eat celery.” Harvey looked sad.

                “If my mom doesn’t work: it’s time for Gentle Nudger Number Two: the Nimitz."

                “TheNimitz"?” I looked to his right, and right outside, there was a big honking aircraft carrier.

                “Remember‘The Final Countdown?’” Harvey said. “The Nimitz is here to gently nudge you. IRS, FBI, EPA, regulatory agencies, the Nimitz; it’s all the same in the end. Government nudgers.”

                “No way!” I said. “That baby’s longer than 10 football fields.”

                “Well, you wouldn’t listen to my mom.”

                So I said goodbye, and walked outside, but suddenly the sun was blotted out. There was the Nimitz! Yipes! I ran to my car, but the door popped open, and there stood Harvey’s mom.

                “Me or the Nimitz. Take your choice…but make it a healthy one!”

                “Okay,”I said. “I give up! I’ll eat celery!”

                “That’s a good boy,” she said. “Here’s a government coupon for half off at the local store, and a deduction for the purchase price (tax code options, remember?)”

                So I went to the store, and there was a line out the door of people buying celery.

People were buying because celery was cheap because of the tax code options, which is called a “subsidy” Unfortunately, the store ran out of celery, which is called a “shortage.” By gently nudging people into making better health choices, the government had distorted market demand. The normal demand for celery had been one zillion stalks. Now it was two zillion stalks, with the same amount of celery produced. This was bad.

                Fortunately the celery farmers responded to the increased market demand by producing twice as much celery, which was good. Unfortunately, they did this by growing celery instead of corn. Now there were corn shortages, and the price of corn got so high that there was a revolution in Egypt, which was bad. But there was lots of celery, which was good. Celery producers enjoyed lots of profits, which attracted more people to go into the celery-growing business, and more resources to go into celery farms, including capital…as banks loaned more money to folks who wanted to take advantage of the growing celery market. Unfortunately, there wasn’t as much money to lend to other people, for which, of course, they all blamed Wall Street.

                But fortunately, the stock market came through, as celery companies attracted investors, attracted by profits expected from the increased demand. That capital attracted resources from other uses, to grow even more celery. Unfortunately, more celery was produced than could be sustained by the demand, which is called a “surplus,” and prices began to fall, and celery profits, so the market boom went bust, and lots of people lost lots of money, for which, of course, they all blamed Wall Street.

                So I caught up with Harvey last week.

                “Times are bad. I can’t gently nudge anyone to eat celery any more. No one listens to my mom, and the Nimitz got called to go gently nudge some terrorists into better behavior choices. Meantime the celery industry’s gone bust, the producers are demanding a bailout, and everyone’s eating sushi.”

                “Maybe you should let folks make their better choices on their own.” I said.

                “Why won’t they make right choices voluntarily,” he said. “Why won’t they eat their celery?”

                “I dunno,” I spread my hands. “Maybe they get tired of being stalked.”

 

 

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